PDF Nobody Nowhere: The Extraordinary Autobiography

of his detachment, Willie was responsible. Without motivation I would have stayed there. I had confronted my fears one by one and thrown them to the wolves to prove that I was bigger than the fears that compelled. It was good to be caring so in spite of his indifference, Willie cared. From retardation to a sleep disorder, and most recently as a developmental disorder occurring either before or shortly after birth that affects how the brain uses incoming information. There was a rip through the center of my soul. People, no matter how good, had no chance to compete. I had been both echolalic and echopractic, able to mimic sound or movement without any thought whatsoever about what was heard or seen. In the darkness you could not see your reflection. Sleep just came and stole you beyond your control. Carol came along a year and a half after Willie. The reminder that the cost of crying would be death made fear irrelevant. The smell of smoke and alcohol, the screaming and swearing and smashing of things and people were general sounds of domesticity. Autism had been there before sound so that my first words were the meaningless echo of the conversations of those around. Autism had had me in its cage for as long as I had ever known. He would speed-read piles of books, memorize lists of facts, and impress people with stored-up factual garble until it was safe enough for me to come back. Theories weren't relevant.

Nobody nowhere by donna somebody pdf download

My hand down by my side, I let them trickle onto the ground as I walked along. I was scared to walk alone now. Autism had been there before I'd learned how to use my own muscles, so that every facial expression or pose was a cartoon reflection of those around. Yet now I felt inhibited, too inhibited to make the bits snow by throwing them over. Again and again I had walked into the mirror trying to get into Carol's world, but Carol would not give away the secret of how to succeed. Sleep was not a secure place. The compulsion had led to a way of life where my best friend was my mirror image, themen the only person with whom I could be my real self. This law went so far as to govern my every smile or look, my own articulation and accent, my tastes, my own way of moving, thinking, wanting, and my entire perception of who Donna was. The subconscious mind began to store meaning that my conscious mind had not yet learned to reach for. I would look into her eyes. The first member of my self-contained, untouchable mobile family, Willie played the prison warden of the invisible cage I was safely locked into. You had to pull your jaw and bottom lip in in anticipation of the pressure on your mouth. My face had glowed with the discovery of a friend with whom I could feel safe and understood. Sleep was a place where darkness airsense ate you alive. The post-operative debris now lay around my feet. They would be a path for any others like me to recognize there was another like them who had come this way. This was my world under glass, a place with reinforced invisible glass windows, a self-made womb to replace the womb I had now outgrown and through which I had been able to view the world as it sat back and enjoyed the show. The other copy of the manuscript would live in my tea chest here in London. I could share only so long as nothing I shared or the way I shared it was. But the windows of my world had been broken and I was left rawly exposed to the enemy.

Once seen or touched by the world, these self expressions became instantly disowned. My head hit whatever was next to it, like someone trying to crack open a nut that had grown too big for its shell. They had both saved me and destroyed. Genre: Non-Fiction Biographies Memoirs, nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams. Autism had been there before I'd ever known a want of my own, so that my first wants were copies of those seen in others (a lot of which came from TV). The fact that we shared the same body never seemed unusual to me, although I faced accusations of possession. The wet strawberry color covered my fingers as I broke the petal apart, rolled the bits, and gathered them in the center of my palm. I needed no rescue from the heaven of living death. Others called autistic who were neither of these things sometimes paid the price of being incapable of any sound or action at all. Phone or email, password? My world was contained in the pages of that manuscript and though the exposure would be a sort of self-inflicted soul-rape, I knew that after its publication I would be compelled to disown not just part of my world but all. Nobody Nowhere, the story of my life and my life's lives, was something of an epitaph.

Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams (.pdf) torrent download

Requirements:.PDF reader, overview: Donna Williams was a child with more labels than a jam-jar: deaf, wild disturbed, stupid insane She lived within herself, her own world her foreground, ours a background she pdf only visited. They, at least, probably maintained a sense of self. Cigarettes seared flesh, and the belt buckle hit something again and again. Self-abuse was the outward sign of the earthquake nobody saw. Calm down, have no need to breathe. I was like an appliance during a power surge. I was still in a state of pure sensing without thought or feeling. So what, I had thought, knowing I had been withdrawn throughout much of my life. After twenty-five years of wondering what sort of stupid, mad, or disturbed person I was, I had stumbled across a word that helped explain my world. Another copy would come with me back to Australia, back to the place of its roots. What poured in just sat there. Like Show likes 1, share Show shared copies 111 7, like Show likes 1, share Show shared copies 144, most interesting 8, like Show likes, share Show shared copies 141. But the only heart-emotion Willie had was anger. My reflection in the mirror, with its total predictability and familiarity, was the only person who came close. A mind that hadn't yet reached out for anything was being force-fed with what others called life. A copy of the manuscript lay on the floor as I packed the tea chest.

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